Wizard Messenger
by youreconfusingme
Summary: The Ministry of Magic launches a new trend for the Wizarding World - the WM! PS: Ron still has to learn how to make the proper emoticons appear.
1. 181

**Wizard Messenger**

_Welcome to Wizard Messenger, the ultimate wizarding connection. Created with the power of Yahoo. Please log in to continue._

**CHAT ROOM 181**

_Online: _iamhermione, WeasleyIsOurKing, Potter7, ginweasley

**iamhermione: **hey you guys! Whattup?

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **'whattup'? what's that supposed to mean?

**ginweasley: **It means what's up, Ronald. 8-|

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **hey! How'd you do that moving thing?

**ginweasley: **don't you ever explore your Wizard Messenger?

**Potter7: **hi guys.

**iamhermione: **hi Harry! How's your summer?

**Potter7: **sucky. I'm surprised Ron and Ginny got in here fast. I only saw Wizard Messenger yesterday at the Daily Prophet.

**ginweasley: **well dad told us about it a week ago. Bloody ecstatic about it. So I and my brothers (and Dad) signed up first thing yesterday when the Ministry launched it.

**Potter7: **oh, I see. How are you guys?

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **I'm doing great. Still trying to figure out how Ginny did that moving thing. Look up, Harry! The thing's moving its eyes!

**iamhermione: ***sigh* Ronald. That's called an emoticon. You type certain characters in and they appear. I'm fine, Harry. We're in vacation in France again. We should be back before the letters arrive.

**Potter7: **good. We should meet up in Diagon Alley, then. :)

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **HARRY! How are you making that thing appear?

**Potter7: **I typed in : and ) without space, Ron.

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **: and )

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **WHY IS IT NOT WORKING?

**iamhermione: **you're hopeless, Ron. There's an icon in your box with the smiling face. Click on that and find out for yourself how to make emoticons appear. 8-|

**ginweasley: **my brother is a loser.

**Potter7: **hey! Don't call him that, Gin. He's new to this stuff. Then again, you are too. :)

**ginweasley: **see my point now, Harry?

**Potter7: **er, yeah.

**iamhermione: **let's leave Ron alone now. Let him figure out how emoticons work. I bet he won't even notice that we've gone.

**Potter7: **offline on the count of three? 1, 2, 3

_iamhermione is offline._

_ginweasley is offline._

_Potter7 is offline._

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **:)

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **hey guys! I did it! I got the smiling face!

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **guys…?

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **I'll get you all for this! :)

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **how do I turn this thing off?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **So I got the idea for this from my friend, potato4. Since I love using Yahoo Messenger so much, I've created WM :D

This is set on the summer of fifth year (for the Golden Trio). This would be a bit AU-ish, considering that the Wizarding world isn't really under war in this setting. Please R&R! -HÜ


	2. 246

_Welcome to Wizard Messenger, the ultimate wizarding connection. Created with the power of Yahoo. Please log in to continue._

**CHAT ROOM 246**

_Online: _DRealD, SSnape

**DRealD: **Good evening Severus!

**SSnape: **Hello Albus.

**DRealD: **Why so glum tonight?

****SSnape** : **How can you possibly know if I'm glum or not?

**DRealD: **Well…

****SSnape** : **HAVE YOU BEEN SPYING ON ME, ALBUS DUMBLEDORE?

**DRealD: **Now, now! No need to scream at me. You are possibly the waspiest person I have ever met!

****SSnape** : **Hmph.

**DRealD: **Anyway, I have called this staff meeting over the Wizard Messenger for two reasons.

****SSnape** : **This is a staff meeting? How come there are only two of us?

**DRealD: **What? Did you say something, Severus? I got disconnected for fifteen seconds. It's my first time using this manner of communication, you see. :)

****SSnape** : **…

**DRealD: **As I was saying, I have two reasons for this meeting. First, we have to discuss about your Occlumency lessons with Harry Potter.

****SSnape** : **WHAT? x-(

****SSnape** : **Who said I will give that boy Occlumency lessons? Can't you do it yourself, Dumbledore? You are better with it than I am, and you know it!

**DRealD: **Very impressive. I see you have gotten the hang of those little faces. Well done, Severus. You must be bored at home.

** **SSnape** : **ALBUS! This is not a joke! =))

** **SSnape** : **WRONG EMOTICON! x-(

**DRealD: **Oh, is that what they call those faces? Emoticons, huh. Very clever!

** **SSnape** : **Dumbledore! Don't think that because I agreed to help take care of the boy _**FOR LILY'S SAKE**_, I would give him Occlumency lessons! I personally think that is asking for too much!

**DRealD: **Severus. Honestly. Why are you being such a pain in the ass about this? If I had the luxury of time, I would certainly take care of Harry's Occlumency lessons. But you know I have things to get done for the Order. Besides, you are the best man for the job.

** **SSnape** : **:|

**DRealD: **What's with the 'emoticon'? tsk, tsk!

** **SSnape** : **[-(

**DRealD: **Are you actually pouting? =))

** **SSnape** : **Why don't you listen to me? It's a _disastrous _idea to let the boy have extra lessons with me. We already loathe each other. We have established a firm genuine hatred for each other!

**DRealD: **Well then maybe you could make that relationship of yours more spiteful when you start bonding with each other in your extra lessons. House unity, Severus! As a professor in this institution, you should be propagating that! :D

** **SSnape** : **Whatever, Dumbledore. 8-| Your eccentric, seemingly great ideas can also be terribly doomed. You would be sorry you did not listen to me on this one.

**DRealD: **I'll take that risk, thank you very much.

**DRealD: **Now! For my second reason!

**DRealD: **Are you ready to hear it? :D

**DRealD: **Silence means yes! Alright, if you insist. :) I simply wanted to learn more about this Wizard Messenger. It's entirely fascinating, don't you think? I may have to talk to Arthur Weasley about this when I catch him online. It's great that Cornelius decided to implement this. Very convenient, especially if you are bored with the usual way of communication!

**DRealD: **What do you think about WM, Severus? :)

_SSnape is offline._

**DRealD: **Severus?

**DRealD: **Does that little announcement mean you're not here already? I'll send Fawkes over to see if you're still here in this chat room, then. He was the one doing the spying, you know. ;) Completely his idea, not mine.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Gaah, I hope this was OK. I was a bit bored when I did this. Got the idea for this Snape/Dumbledore scene from my best friend. Review, please! :)

PS: SSnape isn't the original username I made up for Snape. That's cos FF won't accept it, I dunno why. :(


	3. 101

_Welcome to Wizard Messenger, the ultimate wizarding connection. Powered by Yahoo! Please log in to continue._

**CHAT ROOM 101**

_Online: _creevey81, Dennis Creevey, AnonymousRavenclawGirl, Hazel Abbott

**creevey81: **Are Fred and George here yet?

**Dennis Creevey: **I don't think so. Their names don't appear to be at the online list.

**Hazel Abbott: **hey guys. My name is Hazel Abbott, I'm Hannah Abbott's little sister.

**creevey81: **Hi Hazel :) from what House are you from?

**Hazel Abbott: **Hufflepuff. You guys are from Gryffindor, right?

**Dennis Creevey: **yep. Who's the AnonymousRavenclawGirl?

**AnonymousRavenclawGirl: **are you talking about me?

**Dennis Creevey: **duh 8-| obviously.

**Hazel Abbott: **I thought Ravenclaws were supposed to be smart?

**AnonymousRavenclawGirl: **Duh. Of course we are. I just asked that question as a conversation starter. The fact that I am not revealing my name in a chat box full of strangers already makes me smarter than you.

**creevey81: **Someone's a little conceited…

**AnonymousRavenclawGirl: **Excuse me, creevey81? Did you say something?

**creevey81: **Oh, nothing.

_Freddie is online._

_Georgie is online._

**Georgie: **what's up, chat room 101? :

**Freddie: **hey guys. Ready to hear about the best prank merchandise yet? :D

**creevey81: **Let's hear it.

**Hazel Abbott: **I'm ready.

**Dennis Creevey: **Me too!

**AnonymousRavenclawGirl: **Me three.

**Georgie: **okay. We have created a new product that will enable you to cut class without getting detention.

**Freddie: **that's right. It is called a Puking Pastille. It looks like an ordinary sweet that your mother could have sent you. It's got two sides: an orange and a purple one.

**Georgie: **if you eat the orange half of the Puking Pastille, you throw up. The moment they rush you out of the classroom to the hospital wing, you swallow the purple half…

**Freddie: **...which restores you to full fitness, enabling you to pursue the leisure activity of your own choice instead of spending an hour listening to a boring professor like Binns.

**creevey81: **That sounds great! Fool-proof! :-bd

**Freddie: **Thank you very much, Colin.

**Dennis Creevey: **So how can we buy one?

_iamhermione is online._

**Georgie: **oh, Merlin. How did you find this chat room, Hermione?

**iamhermione: **Never mind about that. As a prefect, I have to fulfill my duties. And that includes watching over the students.

**Georgie: **my dear Hermione, let me remind you that school has not officially started yet. You only just received your badge two days ago!

**iamhermione: **And it seems that I already have a lot to do!

**Freddie: **Let her be. You can't prove anything, Hermione.

**iamhermione: **Yes, I can, Fred! I can print this whole conversation and bring it for Professor McGonagall to see!

**Georgie: **Oh, dear. You can't even tell who's who over the Internet, Hermione?

**iamhermione: **What do you mean? You're George. Freddie is Fred.

**Freddie: **Oh, really now? /:)

**Georgie: **Anyway, to answer your question, Dennis, before we were so rudely interrupted…

**Freddie: **We'll w-mail you as soon as possible. Or better yet, we'll owl you. How about the others? Would you like to order as well?

**AnonymousRavenclawGirl: **Send me a box, please :)

**Hazel Abbott: **same here! And contact me the next time you have a new product. I'd love to hear more about it. :D

**Dennis Creevey: **send me and my brother a box as well. We'll talk to you soon! Thanks, you guys. :)

_creevey81 is offline._

**Freddie: **sure thing. 'Bye, guys. Thank you for your time. 'Bye Hermione. See you when we see you ;)

_Dennis Creevey is offline._

_AnonymousRavenclawGirl is offline._

_Hazel Abbott is offline._

_iamhermione is offline._

**Georgie: **I love rattling Hermione. Don't you, George?

**Freddie: **Right you are, Fred :-bd

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **There were some Fred and George lines here that were taken from OoTP. Just wanted to say that disclaimer thing again. LOL


	4. 001

_Welcome to Wizard Messenger, the ultimate wizarding connection. Created with the power of Yahoo! Please log in to continue._

**CHAT ROOM 001**

_Online: _ DRealD, Plug-Man

**Plug-Man: **Albus! Didn't expect to see you here! Do you go online a lot?

**DRealD: **Kind of :) It's fun here. I get to talk to a lot of people and eavesdrop on different conversations. LOL

**Plug-Man: **I must say I'm surprised you got the hang of WM pretty fast ;)

**DRealD: **Same goes for you, Arthur! You discovered the art of emoticons (got that one from Severus) right away!

**Plug-Man: **Well, I and my kids signed up for this as soon as it was made available for the public. It's quite fun. :D Oh, is that what those little faces are called? Emoticons. Very cool. ;)

**DRealD: **How many chatrooms have you been into, Arthur?

**Plug-Man: **Hmm…I think I've been to about ten rooms already. I'm pretty busy with the work at the Ministry, and Molly doesn't like me spending time here.

**DRealD: **So dear Molly doesn't know that you use WM?

**DRealD: **:)

**Plug-Man: **HEY! What's with the evil face? You're not planning to tell her, are you?

**DRealD: **Dear Molly would surely want to know what her husband is _secretly doing _at work…

**Plug-Man: **ALBUS!

**DRealD: **Just pulling your strings there, Arthur. LOL

**Plug-Man: **What does 'LOL' mean, anyway?

**DRealD: **You don't know what LOL means?

**Plug-Man: **Forgive me, Albus, but if I did, would I have bothered to ask you at all?

**DRealD: **'LOL' means Locust of London!

**Plug-Man: **What's that got to do with 'Just pulling your strings there, Arthur'?

**DRealD: **No idea! :D

**DRealD: **But, the youngsters here at WM use it often. I figured the Locust of London must be popular. Haven't heard of it, though.

**Plug-Man: **Okaaay. If you say so.

**DRealD: **Hey Arthur!

**Plug-Man: **What?

**DRealD: **Have you tried using the _italics _and the **bold **here in WM? :D pretty cool, huh?

**Plug-Man: **How did you do that?

**DRealD: **Honestly. And I thought _you _were the Muggle freak.

**DRealD: **See those B and I along the one with the smiling face? Just click on the B and you'll get **this**

**DRealD: **Click on the I and you get _this._

**Plug-Man: **OH! I thought those stood for 'break' and 'in'. I click on 'B' when I take a break from using WM, and then I press 'I' when I get back

**DRealD: **=)) idiot

**DRealD: **ROFL!

**Plug-Man: **What does that mean?

**DRealD: **Wait, I'll search for it in Google. I'll tell you when I find out.

**Plug-Man: **Er, okay. I'll go on ahead of you. Loads of paperwork.

_Plug-Man is offline._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Took me quite some time to update this. Please review! :D


	5. 019

_Welcome to Wizard Messenger, the ultimate wizarding connection. Created with the power of Yahoo! Please log in to continue._

**CHAT ROOM 019**

_Online:_ DRealD, SSnape, Tabby, Charmer17, PomSprt

**DRealD:**Good evening Professors. Thank you for taking the time to go online for this staff meeting.

**SSnape:**Oh, great. Another one. 8-|

**Tabby:**As if we had a choice to not attend.

**DRealD:**Now, now. I know you are all busy with your little lives…

**PomSprt:**Just get on to your point, Professor Dumbledore.

**DRealD:**Just a moment, Pomona. Filius, are you there? Or are you using that mobile thing?

**Charmer17:**What mobile thing? Of course I'm here, Professor!

**DRealD:**Splendid! Now that everyone is present, I would like to start this meeting formally.

**DRealD:**As you all know, we have a pink crisis on our hands.

**SSnape:**Is that another one of the little codenames that you make up which we cannot decipher?

**PomSprt:**Doesn't 'pink crisis' mean that we have to hire another DADA professor again?

**Tabby:**That's the so-called Black Alert, Pomona.

**Charmer17:**I think Albus means Dolores Umbridge. Just get to the point, Professor. I have papers to grade.

**SSnape:**Aren't you supposed to be in hiding, Albus? Umbridge might intercept this chat room, you know.

**DRealD:**Do you all want me to get to the agenda of this meeting or not?

**PomSprt:**Go right on ahead, my old man.

**DRealD:**I shall ignore that jab, Pomona. As I was saying, we now have a pink crisis on our hands. I have about ten more minutes to discuss to you our tactics.

**Tabby:**Tactics for what? We're doing fine here, Albus. :)

**PomSprt:**Now she's using the evil emoticon. O.o

**DRealD:**How can you be fine under that old toad's poor leadership skills? Now, I have quite a few suggestions as to how you can combat…er, welcome her.

**Charmer17:**Like what?

**DRealD:**Use your best weapons—the students.

**Tabby:**Do you want us to ask the students to play pranks on her?

**DRealD:**I shall leave that up to you, Heads of Houses ;;)

**SSnape:**Ugh, will you stop using that emoticon? It gives us a wrong idea about your masculinity.

**DRealD:**I do apologize. I must have clicked the semicolon two times.

**PomSprt:**So. You want the Weasley twins to get into action? You do know that you are asking for trouble, don't you, Dumbledore?

**DRealD:**It's just a way for her to feel more at home here at Hogwarts, Pomona. She should get used to it if she's going to stay at the school for quite some time.

**Charmer17:**And Peeves? Do you want us to help him wreak havoc, too?

**SSnape:**Oh, that will be just great. Classes disrupted, O.W.L. examinations in chaos, the school possibly in ruins after…just what Filch wants.

**DRealD:**Are you taking Argus' side on this matter, Severus?

**SSnape:**I just don't want to go into all the trouble of stirring trouble in the school!

**Tabby:**Oh come off it, Severus. It'll be fun! You sound like you have PMS. Let's see how that little toad holds under pressure…

**Charmer17:**Minerva's on a roll today, excuse her.

**Tabby:**Why do you say so, Filius?

**PomSprt:**We heard you didn't give homework today because Umbridge sat in your class again. That is a miracle in itself, Minerva. All the students are grateful.

**Tabby:**…

**DRealD:**That concludes our staff meeting tonight.

**SSnape:**Thank heavens.

_SSnape is offline._

_Tabby is offline._

_PomSprt is offline._

_Charmer17 is offline._

**DRealD:**Oh, great. They left me here again.

_PinkCats is online._

_DRealD is offline._

_**CHATROOM UNAVAILABLE.**_

* * *

><p>Hey everyone! I thought I'll give an update on this before Christmas. Reviews, please?<p>

Happy holidays! :)


	6. 121

_Welcome to Wizard Messenger, the ultimate wizarding connection. Created with the power of Yahoo! Please log in to continue._

**CHAT ROOM 121**

_Online: _Potter7, WeasleyIsOurKing, iamhermione

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **Hi you guys. :)

**Potter7: **Ron! I see you have gotten hold of emoticons ;)

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **Yep. Finally. 8-|

**iamhermione: **Hey Harry, Ron! How are you guys? Long time no see :) What did you do to be able to use a computer, Harry?

**Potter7: **The Dursleys are out :) using Dudley's computer

**iamhermione: **Cool! So, how's your summer?

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **Are you talking to me or to Harry?

**iamhermione: **To both of you, of course! Seriously, Ronald.

**Potter7: **Don't fight here. It's getting exhausting having to read your bickering in the chat room.

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **Yeah, Hermione. Don't start on me.

**iamhermione: **I am _not _starting on you, Ronald!

**Potter7: **My summer is pretty dull, Hermione. :| Just stuck with Dudley here. I can't wait to try out Apparating. That way I can leave and go anywhere whenever I want to.

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **Well my mum is glad I can't Apparate properly yet. Fred and George have been annoying her incessantly. They keep on popping out in the house.

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **What are you doing for the holidays, Hermione?

**iamhermione: **I'm in vacation with my parents here in Venice, Italy. :)

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **Don't your parents ever get tired of going abroad?

**Potter7: **Ron, Hermione's parents only see her every summer. Lay off.

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **Hmph.

**iamhermione: **What are you doing this summer, Ron?

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **Playing Quidditch with my siblings, mostly. Ginny's gotten really good at it.

**Potter7: **How I envy you, mate. I wish I can play Quidditch with her—your family everyday. :-

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **You'll get to, soon enough ;) You'll be coming over. You too, Hermione. :)

**Potter7: **I cannot wait for that blessed day.

**Potter7: **oh, bloody hell. I think I hear the Dursleys at the driveway. Better turn this thing off or Uncle Vernon'll have my hide for dinner.

**Potter7: **'Bye, you guys! I'll see you real soon :)

_Potter7 is offline._

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **Well that was quick. Still there, Hermione?

**iamhermione: **Yep. Ron?

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **Yeah?

**iamhermione: **Do you think we bicker too much?

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **Never really noticed it. Why?

**iamhermione: **Nothing. I just thought that maybe it's a bit too much for you too sometimes.

**iamhermione: **Still there, Ron?

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **Yes, I am :)

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **Hermione?

**iamhermione: **mmm?

**iamhermione: **Ron?

**iamhermione: **Were you going to say something? Ronald?

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **I miss you. I can't wait to see you again.

**iamhermione: **I miss you too, Ron. I'll come back home soon.

**iamhermione: **I have to go now. See you, Ron. :D

_iamhermione is offline._

**WeasleyIsOurKing: **'Bye, Hermione. :*

_WeasleyIsOurKing is offline._

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews, please? :)<strong>


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